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In recent years, there’s been a dramatic increase in public interest towards emotional intelligence. Its importance in living a conscious, successful life has become a popular topic in our advanced society, and it is consistently evaluated as part of the hiring process in major corporations… But what exactly is everyone talking about?
IQ, an abbreviation that stands for 'intelligence quotient', is unlikely to raise any questions today. Anyway, IQ is no longer a hot topic today, where the ability to excel in social interactions has become more important than passing logic tests with different shapes. IQ has been quietly displaced by EQ - emotional intelligence quotient, which is now considered one of the most important factors in the modern person's personal and professional efficiency.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, manage and control both your own emotions and those of others.
The importance of emotions for successful survival and adaptation was noted by Charles Darwin in 'The Expression of Emotions in Man and Animals'. Sigmund Freud also focused on this aspect of human life - he noted that the very first ethical laws were created to organize and contain the expression of emotions in civilized society. Is it any wonder that this emotional intelligence craze is experiencing a full-fledged revival today?
Signs of a high EQ
We're all different, which means that each person has their own level of emotional intelligence - some people are born with the ability to explain their feelings to others, while others experience extreme difficulty understanding themselves, and it's even harder for them to explain what they're feeling to others.
The following traits are signs of a highly developed emotional intelligence:
- Advanced vocabulary for expressing vocabulary. Studies show that only 36% of the Earth's population are able to accurately explain what they're feeling. This is a low number, especially considering the importance of being able to express yourself in society! Failing to develop this skill leads to misunderstandings in communication and a high risk of making irrational decisions in the heat of the moment, which has a negative impact on any situation. People with high EQ are better at understanding and expressing their own emotions, making them more likely to make correct logical conclusions and avoid unnecessary conflicts. They are also equipped with a high level of empathy.
- Interest towards others' emotions. High emotional intelligence goes hand in hand with curiosity towards your own emotions and those of others. These people can sense others' emotional states, which makes them better equipped to sympathize and empathize with them.
- High adaptability to change. With high emotional intelligence comes great flexibility, making it easier for these people to change, while those with lower levels of EQ are more likely to experience stress in the face of change.
- No hard feelings. People with high EQ know their worth and how they deserve to be treated, so they are unlikely to be bothered by personal attacks. High emotional intelligence gives you a better understanding of where you're wrong and what your weaknesses are, which makes you immune to people targeting your pressure points.
- Appreciation for what you have. People with high EQ know when to stop and look around to evaluate what they already have and express their gratitude. Studies at the University of California prove that people who can appreciate what they already have are much happier and less likely to experience stress.
How to develop your EQ
Just like special exercises are used to boost your intellect, there are also ways to improve your emotional intelligence. Here are some simple but effective methods:
- Pay attention to your emotions and those of others. Whenever possible, try to evaluate and describe what you are feeling in different situations. Don't ignore your feelings, after all, they are an important part of your personality, and repressing them creates the risk of losing some of it.
- Listen to your body. Our body is a well-oiled machine where all the parts are carefully interconnected. Quite often, emotional issues and stress can have physical manifestations, from acne and hair loss to headaches and muscle weakness. Pay attention to how your body reacts to your emotions and look for patterns in these reactions.
- Don't suppress or ignore your feelings. If you're the kind of person who likes to keep things bottled up to avoid all negativity, you will never understand how you are actually feeling. Live through your emotions and reflect on what you're feeling: your internal world has two opposite poles and ignoring either one of them can be deadly for your identity.
- Become a good listener, this will make you more aware of other people's emotional reactions and teach you to compare them to your own reactions and the feelings that cause them. What's more, careful listening is a crucial skill to improve the way you communicate with others, it will greatly improve your empathy and transform you into an understanding conversation partner.
- Be friendly. Other people are not your enemies - instead, they are an infinite source of valuable information. Communicating with others develops your emotional intelligence, teaches you to feel various emotions and improves your understanding of other people's behavior.
- Practice your reactions. For example, if you break down over a minor issue, consider how you could have reacted in a calm and constructive way. Reflect on what happened, think about your reaction and try to behave differently next time, no matter how difficult it might be. In the end, you will learn to react in a way that serves you, avoiding unnecessary draining emotions and conflicts.
Developing emotional intelligence offers a plethora of benefits that offer significant lifelong advantages. Thankfully, learning to manage emotions and use them to your benefit is an achievable task, even though emotions are an expression of our internal natural mechanisms.
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