"I Don’t Deserve This": What Is Impostor Syndrome and How It Affects Our Lives

A constant cycle of anxiety and self-deprecating thoughts is a key sign of impostor syndrome. In this article, we explore how it arises and what can be done to stop doubting oneself.

What Is Impostor Syndrome?

This term refers to a psychological phenomenon or a set of mental states in which a person feels they are not talented, competent, or knowledgeable enough. They feel as though they are occupying a position they don't deserve because they lack the knowledge, skills, or qualities that others attribute to them.

A person with impostor syndrome is convinced that they are unworthy of the position they hold, the award they received, or even a simple compliment. They often explain their accomplishments as mere luck and believe that their success is not due to their own talent or ability. People who see themselves as impostors can't shake the feeling that their success is just a coincidence or a fortunate accident. They often feel like frauds and live in constant fear of being "exposed" and disappointing those around them.

Impostor syndrome was first described by American psychotherapists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, who introduced the term in the 1970s. In their article, they outlined the emotions experienced by those with impostor syndrome and the behaviors triggered by these feelings. They identified a certain pattern:

• A person is faced with a task or challenge and begins to feel anxious, fearing they will not be able to cope with it.

• The person then throws themselves into the work, sacrificing rest to complete the task as soon as possible. Alternatively, anxiety may lead to procrastination, spiraling into worry or depression, and delaying the task until the last minute.

• Once the task is completed and positive feedback is received, the person attributes the outcome to luck or circumstance. If fear "paralyzed" them, they explain their failure as bad luck.

This cycle repeats every time the person faces a new challenge, problem, or unexpected opportunity. In either case-success or failure-they attribute the outcome not to their personal qualities, abilities, or skills, but solely to external factors.

Causes of Impostor Syndrome

Anyone can be vulnerable to developing impostor syndrome. It affects both men and women of all ages, professions, and positions. Over time, and with maturity, the syndrome may subside-or, conversely, intensify and accumulate new symptoms that further disrupt everyday life. Why does this happen?

Most problems we face as adults are rooted in childhood. One of the main causes of impostor syndrome is excessive praise or, conversely, harsh criticism from parents. This phenomenon is especially common among children of demanding parents who placed unrealistically high expectations on them, without regard for their true capabilities, talents, or limits. These children often had to earn their value through top grades, perfect behavior, and extracurricular achievements just to meet their parents' expectations.

As a result, they might develop anxious thoughts such as: "What if I don't get an A, don't win first place in the competition, or turn out to be not good enough-and then no one will praise me?"

But impostor syndrome can also be triggered by the opposite situation-when a child is overpraised and constantly told they are the smartest, strongest, most beautiful, and simply the best. As they grow up, they realize they don't possess any exceptional knowledge or skills, and that no one outside the family shares the same admiration or belief in their brilliance. This creates a feeling of inadequacy, a sense that they don't measure up.

Impostor syndrome can also develop in adulthood. It may be triggered by perfectionism, a tendency toward workaholism, a highly competitive environment, severe criticism, or the devaluation of one's efforts. Additionally, sudden changes such as a new job can provoke the syndrome, as the person must adapt to a new team and re-prove their expertise from scratch.

Checklist: Do You Have Impostor Syndrome?

You can recognize impostor syndrome through specific thought patterns and mental habits. Lectera invites you to take this special checklist to determine whether you may be affected by this psychological phenomenon. Mark the statements that you agree with:

• I feel that others overestimate me and my abilities.

• I'm afraid that people will soon find out I'm not as professional as they think.

• I always expect to fail, even though I usually succeed in completing tasks.

• I'm afraid of making a mistake and disappointing others.

• I worry that I won't meet my boss's expectations and will let them down at a crucial moment.

• I frequently compare myself and my accomplishments to others'.

• I feel like a nobody compared to my colleague/friend/relative.

• Anyone could handle the tasks I do.

• I think people mostly praise me out of pity or politeness.

• I don't deserve the position I hold.

• I achieved this only because of lucky circumstances.

• I don't have any special knowledge or expertise.

• I could do a much better job than I'm currently doing.

The more boxes you tick, the more likely it is that you're experiencing impostor syndrome. It's important not to confuse this with actual incompetence. If you genuinely lack certain skills or knowledge, your manager might suggest taking training courses, attending workshops, or postponing a promotion or raise until you're more prepared. However, in the case of impostor syndrome, the perceived lack of competence exists only in the mind of the person suffering from it-no one else sees it.

How to Overcome Impostor Syndrome

You can overcome impostor syndrome-or at the very least, manage its most prominent symptoms-on your own. Here are some expert recommendations from Lectera to help you get started:

• Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Avoid idealizing those around you. In reality, everyone has their own weaknesses, limitations, and fears. We rarely see the mistakes, failures, and hard work that underpin someone else's success. Superheroes exist only in comic books; we are all ordinary people, and that means we are allowed to make mistakes, experience failure, and occasionally feel overwhelmed. We don't possess superpowers-only our experience, acquired knowledge, and developing skills. If you must compare yourself, compare the present you to your past self. Reflect on what you've achieved, what you've learned, and the skills you've developed over the past year or two. Chances are, you now know and can do much more than before. Isn't that a reason to be proud of yourself?

• Don't Be Afraid of Mistakes-Thank Yourself Even for Failures

One of the most essential components of finding harmony with yourself and the world around you is accepting your mistakes and being grateful for your failures. Try viewing your missteps as natural and important parts of life, learning, and the journey to success, rather than as frustrating setbacks. It's precisely these losses, errors, and miscalculations that serve as stepping stones toward your goals. It's important to understand and accept a simple truth: everyone makes mistakes, and you will too. Once you internalize that fact, the fear of failure will begin to fade. To make the most of your failures, regularly reflect on them, learn your lessons, and move forward. Don't allow setbacks to prevent you from thriving and growing in what you love.

• Let Go of Perfectionism

Stop trying to complete every task perfectly. It's far more reasonable to focus on doing your best-whatever that may look like for you. You're not expected to possess every piece of knowledge or every skill in the world, and neither is anyone else. So don't blame yourself if you're lacking certain competencies in a particular area. That's normal-some things you'll understand well, others not so much.

• Open Up and Share Your Feelings

To come to terms with your inner impostor and ease distressing emotions, try to verbalize and analyze your feelings. One of the most damaging aspects of impostor syndrome is its tendency to keep people silent about their fears and insecurities. Naturally, opening up isn't always easy-and it can be intimidating-but it's important to take that first step. Speak to someone you trust, whether it's a loved one or a colleague. You could also consider joining a support group where people with impressive achievements gather but still feel insecure. This can foster a sense of unity and help you realize that you're not alone in your experience.

• Be Present

Stay in tune with yourself and the world around you. Learn to observe, reflect, and rationally analyze events as they unfold. Often, people with impostor syndrome procrastinate-or work non-stop-due to fear of the future or trauma from past experiences. But it's important to remember: every new situation is different, and you're not the same person you once were. You've grown, gained new knowledge, and developed existing skills. So try not to dwell on the past or get lost in the uncertainties of the future. Stay rooted in the present. Mentally bring yourself back to the time and place you're in now. Meditation is a great tool for this. It helps you concentrate, refocus, and calm down. One of the simplest forms is mindful breathing: sit comfortably, straighten your back, place your feet firmly on the ground, close your eyes, and focus solely on your breathing. This practice helps keep you from getting stuck in the past or spiraling into future anxieties. It grounds you in the present moment and enhances your awareness of it.

• Reevaluate Your Values

Staying motivated and moving confidently toward your goals requires regular reassessment of your values and priorities. Take a moment to consider what matters most to you right now. Is it getting a promotion? Reconciling with a loved one? Visiting an exotic country? Learning a foreign language? Whatever it may be, your actions should align with the priorities you've set for yourself. Direct your energy and resources toward areas of life that genuinely interest and inspire you. Our values act as a compass, guiding us along the right path, signaling when to turn and whether a risk is worth taking. It also helps to reflect on the kind of person you want to be, the qualities you wish to embody, and the legacy you hope to leave behind. Think about your ideal path-what you want to dedicate your life to and how you can begin making that vision a reality right now.

• Take Action!

Impostor syndrome often "paralyzes" people, leading them to pass up promising projects, new responsibilities, promotions, or higher-paying jobs due to self-doubt. But imagine all the opportunities you're missing. If hesitation is holding you back, try faking confidence-just enough to get moving. Think about the circumstances in which you feel most self-assured. Maybe a sharp business suit, a sleek hairstyle, red lipstick, or some other detail boosts your confidence. When speaking with colleagues, managers, or subordinates, maintain a composed posture, speak clearly and loudly, and project calm, self-control, and assurance. You'll be surprised how quickly your outer appearance can influence your inner state, helping you feel and act with greater confidence.

However, if intrusive thoughts follow you everywhere, preventing you from enjoying life, and you find yourself unable to manage them alone, it's time to seek help from a psychologist. A qualified specialist can help you understand why you're feeling this way and guide you toward strategies to manage it.

Ultimately, it's perfectly normal to occasionally doubt yourself and your abilities-so long as it doesn't interfere with living a fulfilling, rich life, achieving your goals, and realizing your dreams. The key is not letting anxious thoughts and fears control you, limit your potential, or restrict your actions. Believe this: you have the strength to overcome them and silence every last doubt.