It seems like charismatic people live a charmed life, and they always seem to get the luck, surrounded by fascinating people and are the centre of attention. We’ll teach you the secret of personal charm, and how to cultivate this invaluable skill.
Even if we don't know a clear definition of what charisma is, we know it when we see it! Without hesitation, we can say who is charismatic and what their characteristics are. Usually, people with charm and inexplicable attraction are called charismatic. However, while most can easily define charisma, not everyone knows its "origin". Many even mistakenly believe that charisma is an innate trait that you either have or don't. However, this is a misconception. First, charisma is a skill and it can be developed. Second, charisma varies, for example, there is purely female charisma, which is very different from male charisma.
A little bit about the word "charisma"
To put it simple, charisma is a trait that makes a person unique in the eyes of the rest. A certain combination of qualities, appearance, behavior, due to which a particular person seems special and stands out from others. Such a person can be an understanding interlocutor, a skilled confident speaker, a notable leader - as a rule, these are the qualities that make a person attractive.
If we look back on history, the term "charisma" has Greek origin and means literally as a "gift from gods" or "gift of grace". In ancient Greece, the word was used to describe a person who has special magnetism and can attract others' attention. Charismatic people could be great speakers, wise rulers, famous philosophers, people, who achieved a high respectful position in society.
The modern interpretation of the term is not very different from the ancient Greek one - a charismatic person still means someone attractive. As a rule, many charismatic people are prominent cultural figures, as well as businessmen. After all, as a rule, the head of a company is not just the person who is able to work more than others or has a different mindset, but also the one who can lead people. And among other things, people are willing to follow such a person because they are attracted by his inner strength and confidence. Charismatic people have the ability to charge others with energy and inspire accomplishments.
Until now the term is used more often in relation to men, which is understandable - for a long time, top positions and acknowledged leadership were available only to men. The world is changing, however, and there are more and more charismatic women leaders. Still, what is charisma in a woman? How to recognize and develop it? How to learn to be charismatic?
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What is charisma in women
There is a misconception that a charismatic woman is a charming, beautiful heroine from a magazine cover, while a charismatic man is a powerful, self-confident, and thinking person. However, this is categorical thinking, because charisma, although it has some universal traits, is mostly individual.
But let's go back to the image of the cover girl. Did it ever happen that a woman, who, according to generally accepted social standards wasn't supposed to be pretty, all of a sudden became the center of attention? This phenomenon is quite common just because a woman who has charisma doesn't have to meet the beauty standards someone created to attract attention and be popular. It seems that many years of research on female charisma finally managed to explain what it means to be a charismatic woman - this is a woman who has the following qualities and characteristic:
- self-confidence and strength of mind;
- emotional intellect;
- the desire for self-development;
- balance of "male and female".
Self-confidence and strength of mind
We have already mentioned that charismatics most often manage companies, or at least a team, department, division. In general, they are in leadership positions. This happens because charismatic people know how to present themselves positively, they have confidence in what they are doing, and, as a result, they are not afraid to be in charge and can make informed decisions. It is not a surprise that self-confident women attract the attention of others with their willpower, inner core, and character.
A charismatic woman sympathizes with others and understands her own feelings as well, knows how to handle other people's moods, how to seek compromises and resolve conflicts while preserving good relationships. Developed communication skills, when you are aware of the emotions of those around, help to achieve a certain social position.
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A charismatic woman knows what she wants, and does everything to accomplish it. Hence, the desire to do something, as well as motivation and healthy inspiring energy that captivates people around.
We can safely say that this quality is indispensable for a self-confident woman who is not afraid to make decisions, after all, a choice is always the responsibility for possible consequences.
The desire for self-development
Even if you are lucky to have charismatic traits since you were a child, their further development is impossible without working on your self-improvement. Therefore, charismatics need to develop both spiritually and intellectually in order to continue making useful acquaintances and remain in the center of attention.
The balance of "male and female"
No matter how strange it may sound, a charismatic woman is more likely to gain respect, attention, and honor if she shows prudence and a tendency to reason coldly, that is qualities that are traditionally considered masculine. Sure, emotions are a very important part of any personality, but logic and rationality are some of the main friends of charisma. Psychologists guess that the ideal balance of female and male energy is 70/30 or 60/40. A charismatic woman is a woman who has a strong character and knows how to be rational and at the same time caring, kind, and sensitive.
Of course, this is just an approximate list of qualities that can be used to characterize female charisma.
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How to become a charismatic woman
A woman who has achieved career heights and is happy with her personal life is most likely charismatic. She has everything she needs to keep expanding horizons of opportunities and reach new heights. As we already said, charisma is not a gift of nature, which presence you don't control. The percentage of people born with obvious charisma is negligible, but absolutely everyone has a predisposition to become a charismatic person.
Good news: charisma can be developed, and here are several rules that will give you an idea of how a woman can increase her charisma.
Rule 1: do the exercise for developing emotional intelligence
Accept your emotions, listen to them, trust them, and learn to manage them. Monitor carefully your reactions to things and events that are annoying or, on the contrary, pleasant for you. What do you feel - anger, surprise, joy? Is there anything beneficial in the emotions you experience? How can you use them?
When communicating with others, observe them. Maybe you managed to catch the expression of sadness or surprise on the face of your friend or a coworker when they heard some news. Think about why this happened. If you can, inquire about their feelings. Over time, when you learn to understand your feelings, you will "read" others much easier and you will be able to use this skill for successful communication.
Rule 2: watch your speech
More precisely, watch its expressiveness. If you feel that it's hard for you to keep others' attention, practice speaking - there is a huge amount of literature and courses on the topic from those who built a whole fortune on their ability to speak and who are willing to share their experience.
Tip: to practice, record an audio track, or better, a video of your impromptu performance (its topic is up to you). Review, evaluate yourself objectively and identify weaknesses and mistakes you should work on. They are could be simply speech problems such as filler words or indistinct speech, or they could be details of your presentation - your appearance, how confident you are, etc.).
Rule 3: work on your confidence
Perhaps, confidence is one of the most difficult aspects, especially if you have issues with self-esteem. However, we already know what it means to be a charismatic woman: it is constant work on self-improvement and personal growth, even if it is hard.
If you don't feel confident, first, look closely at your surroundings, after all, outside influences impact self-esteem. If you are surrounded by people who are constantly trying to hurt your self-respect with phrases "you won't succeed", "you won't be able to do it, let me just do it", or inappropriate, unconstructive criticism, then it's time to eliminate these toxic people from your life. Most likely, they just envy you.
Of course, confidence comes from some external factors as well, so, first, work on your poses too. It has long been proven that open, more expansive poses inspire self-confidence, which is then transmitted to others. Sure, this won't happen overnight - an open pose is not a universal solution for all problems. However, over time, if you are attentive to your body language, you will see a serious change.
Rule 4: observe others
We don't mean you should blindly copy someone else's behavior, because personal charisma is individual, something unique only to you, your cherry on the top. It is still useful to observe the behavior of well-known charismatic people, what they say, and how they express their emotions. You may find something you can relate to in their behavior and mindset and try to apply their approach in your life.
Think of Uma Thurman - she doesn't correspond to the general standards of beauty, but she was Quentin Tarantino's muse for many years. How do you think why? Or, another example - Lady Gaga, famous not just for her strong voice, but also for eccentric, attention-grabbing and yet fitting her images, which transmit strong self-confidence.
In general, pay more attention to yourself and your emotions, be inspired by examples of other successful women, and most importantly - remember that charisma, just like any other personality trait, requires work, and you will succeed.